


Back To The Beginning

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, During Canon, Established Relationship, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-09
Updated: 2007-07-28
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:14:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8692456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sam and Dean encounter a young man that claims to be from the future. He claims that he is here to stop the world from falling into darkness. Little do the Winchesters know that his reasons are far more personal than saving the world.





	1. Somewhere In Time

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

The world was full of darkness. There was nothing but pain, nothing but misery and suffering. At least that's what existed for the weak, the desolate, the few who fell through the cracks. The ones who chose to live in poverty and degradation instead of for evil that had taken the world.

 

Xaden was one of those few. He had refused to succumb to the darkness. He didn’t care that there were times when he was hungry. That he was parentless, alone. He had his pride after all, and if it cost him his life, he was going to change his future, so help him God.

 

At 25, Xaden wasn’t too sure that he should worry about being parentless. But part of him wished for the love that he had never been given his whole life. 

 

He had been researching for years, for a way to go back to the beginning of the downfall of civilization. To the time when it all began. He’d figured out exactly where and when he needed to go, but what had taken so long was finding the way. He believed that magic was possible. After all, demons were real, so why not magic?

 

He’d been leery of telling anyone of his heritage for fear of being cast out. He’d made sure to tell everyone that he had been abandoned during childhood, and not that he’d run away from his Father at the tender age of twelve. 

 

Xaden met Trace soon after he’d ru away. He was a castout, too. His family practically ran to become lapdogs of the evil that took over. They were well to do, and didn’t want to give up their way of life. When he refused to give himself over to the evil as well, his parents had tried to kill him. But the Scourge had shown up and rescued him. He and Xaden hit it off immediately. They became inseparable.

 

Trace was a witch. Of course, Xaden didn’t know that off the cuff, they’d simply become friends. 

 

One evening, Trace went to see Xaden. He’d been down lately, and Trace had managed to score some popcorn and beer. Although he’d never tell him how he came across such a luxury, he wanted to share the wealth with the best friend he'd ever had. Trace walked into his quarters (the “Scourge” as they were called, lived underground for their protection) and found Xaden in a rage. Things were being tossed about the very small room, and not by Xaden's hands. Trace let a small gasp escape his lips, causing the objects in the air to come crashing down and Xaden to turn around. He was pale and sweaty. And then, ultimately, terrified. Who would Trace tell? What would he do?

 

“Trace, I...I can explain!” he gasped. But surprisingly, Trace didn’t move. He simply stood there, looking at Xaden as if this were the first time he had ever seen him. “Please, don’t be afraid! I won’t hurt you.”

 

“I know you won’t,” Trace smiled, sitting down the popcorn and beer. He took two steps toward Xaden and wrapped his arms gently around him. “I’m not afraid. I have my secrets, too.” Trace pulled back slightly, and was staring into Xaden’s eyes. He was certain that Xaden felt the same way he did. And knowing that his trip into the future was going to be a one way trip, Trace was going to let him know how he felt. Slowly he leaned forward, when Xaden didn’t move away repulsed, Trace kissed him.

 

His full lips were as soft and luscious as Trace had always imagined that they’d be. Xaden fell into the kiss with a passion to match Trace’s. They began walking back toward his bunk, Trace pulling Xaden’s shirt up over his head. When Trace met with no resistance to what he was doing, he slid his hands down Xaden's defined chest and let his fingertips linger on his abs before reaching down and pushing his pants slowly down his hips.

 

Xaden stopped him, “I — uh, I’ve never done….”

 

“Shhh, it’s ok, I’ve never been with a guy either, it can be a learning experience for us both,” Trace told him.

 

“No, you don’t understand. I’ve never,” Xaden shook his head, looking down, “with anybody. My life has been so wrapped up in finding the moment where the world went wrong that I’ve never had time for anything else, let alone love.”

 

“Do you love me?” Trace asked with hopeful eyes. Xaden nodded, pulling Trace to his mouth once again. They fell onto the bed in a tangle of awkward arms and legs.

 

That had been three months ago.

 

~X~X~

 

"You sure this is gonna work? I mean, I don't want half of me here and half of me in 2007," Xaden laughed.

 

Trace smiled his beautiful smile, leaned down and kissed him softly. "Would I let anything happen to you? I love your little ass to much."

 

Xaden smiled. "Hey babe, I want you to promise me something. I want you to forget about me when I leave. You need to move on with your life. You need..."

 

"Hey, there's something that I have been meaning to tell you. I'm coming with you," Trace held up his finger as Xaden began to protest. "Wait, let me finish. I'm not staying behind. Everything that I love will be gone, there will be nothing here for me, and it's not like I'm leaving to go someplace worse. Anything is better than this."

 

Xaden embraced his lover. "I love you so much, do you know that?"

 

"You don't mind that I want to come with you?" Trace asked.

 

"Mind? I'm thrilled!! I didn't know what I was going to do without you for the rest of my life, but I didn't want you to feel like you had to come. I mean, we can't get back...ya know?"

 

"There-in lies my companionship to the past!" Trace smiled. Xaden had always loved Trace, and thought that he was an alright looking guy. But since they had become lovers, his beauty was tenfold. Trace was tall, pushing 6'4''. His steel grey eyes and short blonde spiky hair was...sexy. He had a medium body frame and knew how to use it.

 

Xaden wasn't short by any means, he was nearly as tall as Trace...hitting 6'3''. His long brown wavy hair hit his shoulders, which was unruly on its best day. Trace often told him that he swore his hair had a brain of its own and wouldn't listen to anybody! Xaden's eyes were the color of freshly polished emeralds. Trace could get lost looking into them for hours.

 

"You sure that you're ready to go with me? This could get ugly. I mean we don't know if he's already evil. We get there, it could get bloody," Xaden warned. 

 

"I'm ready. I'll fight beside you until the end."

 

With that said, Trace read the spell that would open up a one way portal to the past, to a world that was bright, sunny and full of emotions that didn't revolve around hate, sadness and power.

 

~X~X~

 

"Sammy!!!!! Move your ass!" Dean yelled as the small ghost ran across the grounds. "I fucking hate kid ghosts!" Dean shouted as he fired his shotgun toward the little bastard.

 

Sam was bleeding freely from a bite wound on the side of his neck, thanking God that the little asshole missed his jugular vein. The small child tossed himself on Sam once again, just as Dean took his place beside his brother and fired the shotgun into the ghost's head.

 

Dean pulled Sam to his feet. 

 

"I hate those mean little fuckers! Give me that fucking shovel!" Sam snarled as he jumped back into the grave and began throwing dirt out of the hole. He smiled wickedly as the shovel hit the coffin lid. Dean tossed down the crobar and Sam forced the lid open.

 

Once Sam climbed from the grave, Dean started pouring salt on the bones as Sam poured the gasoline. With the flick of his wrist, Sam lit the match and threw it in. "Good riddance, you bratty little fucker."

 

~X~X~

 

The boys were in the Impala heading back to the motel. Sam was holding Dean's t-shirt against his neck. 

 

"I'll get that cleaned up as soon as we're back, k, babe?" Dean said rubbing Sam's shoulder.

 

"Babe?" Sam sort of gigglesnorted.

 

"What, you don't like babe? I, uhhhh - could call you lambchops if you'd prefer?"

 

"No, babe is fine. Just caught me by surprise. It's just not your usual banter."

 

"I can be affectionate, Sam. I'm not that closed off." Dean said smartly. Sam could tell that he'd hurt Dean's feelings. Here he was always telling Dean to open up to him, be honest with his feelings and stuff. And what does he do but practically make fun of him when he uses an affectionate name for him.

 

Sam reached over and lightly touched Dean's face, "I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to be a dick. I like it, I hope you keep it up. I love it when you call me babe."

 

Dean turned his head and kissed the top of Sam's hand. "Love you, Sammy."

 

"I love...WATCH OUT!!!" Sam screamed.

 

Two people had suddenly appeared in the middle of the road.

 

Dean stomped on the brakes, but he hit one of them with the car nonetheless. "FUCK!!!" Dean shouted as he was getting out of the car.

 

There was a blond kid kneeling beside a boy with long wavy brown hair. "Xaden, come on...wake up baby." Trace looked up at Sam and Dean with tear filled eyes. "What have you done?"

 

~X~X~

 

Sam and Dean pulled the limp form from the back of the Impala, having decided to take them to a motel, because Trace was about to pull Xaden over his back and take off walking. With Sam and Dean doctoring up each other all their lives, they figured they would be able to patch the injured boy up well enough. The Impala hadn't been going very fast on impact.

 

Dean pulled off Xaden's shoes and gently pulled him to a sitting position, then removed his jacket. "You two look to be in your early twenties. What in the hell were you doing in the middle of the goddamned road?"

 

Trace didn't say much of anything. He was across the room, looking as if he'd seen Satan himself.

 

Sam came out of the bathroom with a bucket and a washcloth. He soaked it in the water and began wiping at Xaden's face. "Dean, I think we should get him to a hospital. He could have internal injuries."

 

"Sammy, we take him in there, you know what will happen. Someone will notice us, and the law will be on our tail quicker than white on rice. No. We take care of him for a few hours, and if he doesn't come to, we call an ambulance. Tie him up if we have to, so he don't pull him outta here," Dean said nodding his head toward Trace.

 

Sam looked up, "Trace, that's your name?"

 

Trace stood immediately as if someone poked him in the ass with a hot poker. "Yes, sir."

 

"Dude, I'm about your age, I don't think it's necessary to call me sir."

 

"Yes, sir," Trace nodded.

 

Dean laughed quietly as he looked down at the kid laying before him. He was starting to move around a bit. He blinked and moaned. He opened his eyes, and gasped at the sight of Dean. 

 

"Hey kid, you ok?" Dean asked as he sat down on the bed beside him. Dean reached out and touched his shoulder. Xaden's face scrunched up in trumoil and pain, tears falling down his face.

 

"It worked," he sobbed. "It really worked," he sobbed as he covered his face with his hands.

 

Dean raised his eyebrows at Sam. "Ok," Dean laughed, "I think that you must have hit your head kid!" Xaden turned his head and caught a glimpse of Sam then bounded off of the bed, across the room and was cowering in the corner in ten seconds flat.

 

"OOOOOK, that's just a little weird," Sam said looking down at Dean. Sam took two steps toward Xaden, who tried to press himself further into the corner. "It's ok, we're not going to hurt you. You're safe here."

 

"What year is it?" Xaden demanded.

 

Sam looked over his shoulder at Dean...eyebrows still raised.

 

"It's 2007," Sam answered.

 

"What month?"

 

"May, what's this all abou..." Sam started.

 

Xaden reached into his pocket, pulling out a small glass bottle. He pulled off the lid and threw the contents on Sam, shouting "Christo!"

 

"Ok, I've had just about enough of your shit!" Dean snarled, stepping on top of the bed and over it toward Xaden. He reached down and pulled him to his feet, slamming him against the wall. "I want to know what in the hell your problem is kid, and I want to know right goddamned now!"

 

"I'm from the future. I'm here to...to save the world from...from a horrible evil."

 

"Dude, you gotta lay off the crack pipe!" Dean simply said releasing him.

 

"I'm not high, I'm serious," Xaden told him. "I'm here to stop the greatest evil from becoming. It's going to happen in just a few short weeks. I'm here to make sure that...that he," Xaden said pointing to Sam, "doesn't make the biggest mistake of his life. The demon, he...."

 

With those words, Dean grabbed the kid again and slammed him into the wall, a bit harder than the first time. Xaden gasped at the impact of his sore, aching body against the wall. Trace was up off of his feet, "Please, don't hurt him Mr. Winchester!!" he pleaded as he was trying to pull Dean's arms off of his lover.

 

Dean turned, looking at the kid. They had not exchanged last names...this was getting serious, and scary.

 

"How in the hell do you know my name?" Dean snarled at Trace. "We didn't tell you."

 

Xaden placed his hands on Dean's wrists. We know all about you, Dean," he whispered, looking over at Sam, "and you."

 

Sam scoffed. "Are you trying to tell me that I am the one that you came back here to stop? You've got to be wrong. I'm not evil. I'm not turning evil."

 

"You did, I mean, do. But I'm here to make sure that don't happen. I'll stop it from happening, or...."

 

"Or what?" Dean yelled slamming the kid into the wall again. Sam reached out and pulled Dean's hands off of Xaden. 

 

"Dean, he's been through enough tonight. Let him go." Dean's lip was twitching. He knew that Xaden was going to say that he'd stop it or he'd kill Sam. 

 

"You touch him, and you will wish you'd never been born kid."

 

"I wished that almost every day of my life until I was twelve years old."

 

Dean released him with another shove against the wall. Trace was there to catch him. "Come on baby, let's go."

 

"No, we have to stay with them."

 

Dean howled out in laughter. "If you think that you're staying here with us after your little threat, you're fucking crazier than I thought you were."

 

"Dean, please," Sam started. Dean snapped his head over to him. 

 

"Sammy, you can't be serious. He just threatened to kill you, if you think that I'm letting some whacked out nutjob who thinks he's from the future (air-quoting 'future')...stay in a room with us, just after he said that he'd kill you - It's...NO, not happening."

 

"I think that we need to see what he has to say, Dean. What if he's telling the truth? What if something happens and I turn evil? What then?"

 

"Then I'll find a way to help you."

 

"No, you will do what you promised me that you'd do. I will not become what we have hunted all our lives. Maybe this kid needs to stick around, if you can't do it, at least someone can."

 

Dean looked at Sam, he was pissed, but he was also hurt. "Sammy, I told you, I'd rather die than kill you."

 

"And you do," Trace said.

 

"TRACE!" Xaden shouted. "I, what did you tell him that for?"

 

"Dean dies?" Sam asked in a panicked voice. "When?"

 

"In about ten months," Xaden answers.

 

"How?" Sam asked as a tear fell down his face.

 

"You kill him. About a month after I'm born."

 

"I kill him? Why would I kill him?" Sam asked, coming very close to hysterical.

 

"Sammy, stop listening to him. I'm telling you, I won't let anything happen to you."

 

Xaden laughed. "Not a lot you can do when you're unconscious."

 

Dean grabbed the front of Xaden's shirt. "I'm about to beat the shit out of you if you don't explain."

 

"Look," Xaden snapped as he yanked his shirt out of Dean's hands, "Sam kills you about a month after I'm born. You take off after he turns, when you finally figure out that you can't help him. He searches and searches for you, because..." Xaden sighs hard, takes a deep breath and blurted out, "he impregnates you, and he wants his son."

 

 

TBC...


	2. On The Verge

“Impregnate me? Dean laughed. “Yeah, I think that we need to get him to a hospital, he may have a cerebral edema or something.”

 

“You’re my father, whether you want to believe it or not. You both are.” Xaden's word of 'both' was a bit snide. He didn’t seem too pleased to be in the same room with Sam, not one bit, and wasn’t hiding that fact.

 

“Men don’t have children, in case you didn’t know that,” Dean laughed.

 

“He becomes evil, like a demon, Dean. Demons can make something like that happen.”

 

“Alright future boy, if you prevent Sam from turning evil, and he therefore doesn’t impregnate me, aren’t you killing yourself?” Dean asked sarcastically.

 

“Yeah, thought about that. If I disappear, then I disappear. I’m willing to die to save the world from becoming what is has in my time. You have no idea what he’s like,” Xaden said as tears fell down his cheeks.

 

Trace grabbed his arm and turned him around. “Disappear? You could disappear? Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me come here just to lose you anyway?”

 

"So I could have more time with you," Xaden smiled as he gently carressed the side of Trace's face. "I love you so much, and three months just wasn't enough."

 

"HUH," Dean laughed.

 

"What? Freaked out that your son is gay?"

 

"I don't think that gay bothers us, just didn't get that from you two earlier."

 

"Look Dean, we're here to help. I want to save you. I never had the luxury of having a parent."

 

"I thought that you said that Sammy came and got you, that he - took you from me?" Dean asked.

 

"Alright, a decent parent."

 

Sam gasped at those words. If this kid was really his son...he hated him. "Look Xaden. I can't help what is going to happen in the future, but I can...."

 

"FUTURE? That's funny. Try my past, sir!"

That stung. Sam so hated having to say 'yes sir' his whole life, like he was in some military school. "No need to call me sir. Sam is just fine."

 

"Look, if you're going to insist on hanging around, you're going to have to drop the attitude with Sam. I'm not going to stand here and let you mistreat him. He's not a monster. He's," Dean sighed. He hated being mushy, especially in front of strangers. "He's the most loving and gentle person that I know, and by God, until something changes - you're not gonna treat him like shit, you got that?"

 

Xaden nodded. "We can stay?"

 

"Yeah," Sam told him, "you can stay. Only cut us a break, don't go screwing in the bed next to us. After tonight, you two can have your own room."

 

Sam's words brought a slight smile to Xaden's face.

 

~X~X~

 

It had been two weeks since Xaden and Trace joined the Winchesters. Sam and Dean didn't stop hunting no matter how much Xaden bitched and complained. "You're just telling that evil son of a bitch where you are! Everytime you kill something supernatural, he knows."

 

"We're not gonna stop hunting just because of what you think happens," Dean told him.

 

"GOD, why are you such a pain in the ass? 

You're...you're..." Xaden started.

 

"Just like you!" Trace finished.

 

Xaden and Dean both looked at him. "What?"

 

"He is. Being around you, it's amazing! Xaden is just like you, Dean. I mean a carbon copy, well except for the fact that he has po...."

 

“TRACE!"

 

"Except for the what?" Sam asked. He was used to being ignored, by Xaden at least.

 

"None of your business!" Xaden snapped.

 

"HEY! Cool it, alright? Give him a break...he's not the person that you think he is," Dean said.

 

Xaden laughed, shaking his head, and sat down on the bed. "You keep telling me that, but you didn't live with pure evil for twelve years of your life. Sam is the purest, most perfect form of evil that was ever created and allowed to walk the earth. My life was hell," Xaden scoffed, "in fact, I sometimes wished for hell instead of living with him."

 

Sam walked across the room to kneel in front of him. "Look, I know what you're telling me. But I'm not that thing. Not yet."

 

"And you're not gonna be, Sammy. I won't allow you to become evil. Period. It's not happening."

 

"Give me a chance, Xaden. Get to know the real me, don't push me away," Sam whispered as he reached up and touched the side of his son's face. Xaden cringed at his touch, but gasped out loud when he felt the warmth and compassion emanating from Sam's body. Xaden leaned into the touch as his tears began to fall. Before he realized what he had done, Xaden had gone to the floor in front of Sam and was in his arms.

 

"You've never touched me like that, not in my whole life. When I turned out to be loving and caring, you hated me. Tried to mold me into something I didn't want to be. You tried to force the darkness into my soul. How can I feel what I'm feeling right now, but hate you so goddamned much?"

 

Sam smiled. "I guess because right here, right now, you know that I'm not evil. I'm just a man. A man trying to get to know his son."

 

Xaden swallowed hard. "I'd like to get to know the real you. It will be worth dying if I can know what a Father's love is like."

Sam smiled and pulled Xaden tighter into his arms. Dean was watching, half in disbelief...disbelief that Sam was so ready to listen to this kid's garbage, and the other half wanting to embrace Xaden and Sam. 

 

Sam reached out, "Dean, come here, I'm telling you, he's ours. I can feel it now. He's really ours. Pleaes, come here."

 

Dean walked to them. Sam took his hand and pulled him down into the hug. A feeling of total love, happiness and serenity washed over Dean. He felt his heart fill with so much love for the men in his arms that he was overcome with tears. He knew Xaden was his son. His and Sam’s son.

When the hug broke, Sam looked into Xaden's eyes. "So, what are your gifts? I'm assuming that's what Trace was getting at. That you have powers."

 

Xaden wiped his eyes, "Uhh, telekinisis, premonition and a sort of reverse empath. Instead of me feeling what other people feel, I can project how I feel to other people. I learned to control them once I got away from you. I never let you know what I could do."

 

"I'm so sorry that you had a rotten life with me. I would never hurt someone that...." Sam paused a moment and sighed. "That came from me, that was a part of me, if I were in control of myself. I just can't believe that I spent almost all of my life hunting and destroying evil only to become evil myself." Sam got up and walked over to the window and stared up at the moon.

 

Xaden stood and walked to his Father's side. "If it helps, know that I'm happier right now than I have ever been in my entire life. I have both of my Fathers here with me, and I have Trace, and I love all of you. I never got to know Dean, ya know? I only saw one picture of him my whole life. When I was ten, we were in the part of Los Angeles that was still standing after the huge earthquake in 2017. You were passed out in the bed after you - well the after doesn't really matter...but you were in bed, and I was picking up clothes from your floor and your wallet fell out. I was used to taking money from you and hiding it, because I knew that one day I was leaving and I would need some. When I was going through your wallet, I found a photo. I didn't know who he was at first. Then I turned the photo over and it said "Dean 06" on the back. I knew that my Dad's name was Dean. I was shocked that you still carried a picture of him since it was you that killed him." Xaden took a quick breath and continued his story. "All of a sudden, I was picked up and thrown across the room; you were so pissed off that I was going through your stuff. When you got up from the bed and came to where you tossed me with your mind, you saw the photo in my hand. You freaked out. I remember Tallis pulling me away from you, shouting that you were going to kill me if you didn't stop. He took me to his room and took care of me until I was better."

 

"I beat you?" Sam gasped.

 

Xaden nodded. "Yeah, but it was alright. I got to see my Dad. It was worth it. Funny thing is, I figured that you would have gotten rid of it, but the next time I went into your wallet, it was still in there.” 

 

"Who is Tallis?" Dean asked him.

 

"Sam's First In Command. He's been with Sam my whole life. He took care of me the twelve years that I lived at home. He loved me. He wasn't evil in the sense that Sam was. I mean, yeah - he was evil, but I think that so much of his humanity stayed with him when he accepted the darkness that he was still capable of loving purely."

"He Sam's lover?"

 

"He’s Sam's.…” Xaden paused a moment “You know, it doesn't matter. None of it will happen if I can help it."

Sam sprinted into the bathroom and slammed the door. The three other men heard him wretching. Dean went to the door and lightly knocked on it. "Sammy? You ok?"

 

No answer. 

 

Dean opened the door to find Sam on his knees in front of the toilet. Sam looked up at his brother through hooded, tear soaked eyes. "God Dean, I abused my own child. How can I...how can I go on with the knowledge that I turn into something that kills the only person in my life that I loved, then go on to become a monster that beats his child and mistreats him so badly that he runs away at twelve years old?" Sam sobbed. Dean got down on the floor and pulled Sam to his chest. 

 

"I will do whatever it takes to prevent this from happening, Sam. I won't let you turn. I won't."

 

"But if you don't then we are effectively killing our unborn child. I've done nothing but hurt him his whole life, I'm not going to allow him to not be born."

 

"Yeah, you will. I would rather save Dean and you than be born. Period,” Xaden said from the doorway.

 

“I’m not killing you before you even get a chance to live, don’t you understand that? I’m not going to allow it.”

 

“Well, you certainly don’t mean that you are going to allow yourself to become evil so that you can get Dean pregnant, do you?”

 

“I’m not killing my own child, I don’t care what either of you two say to me,” Sam said as he walked out of the bathroom and headed toward the door.

 

“Sammy?” Dean called out running after him. When Dean grabbed his arm and turned him around Sam pushed him off of him. “Unless you’re here to agree with me, don’t Dean. Don’t start. I’m not killing our son.”

 

“Sam, maybe there is another way. You can’t be serious, I mean, you're willing to let yourself become evil so that…”

 

“YES, Dean. I am. And afterwards, you end it. You do what you promised me that you’d do.”

 

“I won’t kill you Sam. I can’t.”

 

“But you’ll let me kill you?” Sam asked. “After you give birth to our son, you’re just going to stand by and let me kill you? When you have heard the kind of life that he has had?”

 

“I shouldn’t have come back and talked to you, I should have just watched and stopped it from happening. I don’t want either one of you to die. Can’t you understand that? I love you, and I’m not going to be the reason that one or the other of you is alone.”

 

Sam sighed hard. “Give me the keys,” he told Dean as he held out his hand. Dean only looked at him. “Dean, give me the goddamned keys! I need to, I need a drink, alright?”

 

“I’ll come with you.”

 

“I don’t want you to. I need to be alone to think about this. Just please, give me the keys.”

 

Dean reached into his pocket and pulled the keys out and handed them to Sam. “Thank you,” Sam whispered, heading to the door. He stopped and came back, “I love you Dean. I always will. Just because I need to be alone doesn’t mean anything, alright?” Dean nodded. Sam cupped his face and kissed him gently. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

“DAD, how could you let him leave?” Xaden shouted. His tone of voice, and the fact that he called Dean Dad shocked them both. “I mean Dean,” he said much more calmly.

 

“Ok, first off — Dad is fine. You wanna call me Dad, then by all means, call me Dad. Second, don’t yell at me, ever again, and third — your Father is a grown man, I think that he can go to a bar and get a drink by himself.”

 

“But what if the demon catches him alone? We won’t be able to prevent it. I don’t have an exact date that he turns evil, just that it was roughly before I was conceived, so this could be when it happens.”

 

Dean seemed to take his son’s words to heart. “Come on, lets go.” Dean picked up his jacket and headed to the front door.

 

“We don’t have a car!”

 

“I can’t believe my son just said “we don’t have a car” — you can tell I didn’t raise you if you can’t boost a car!” he laughed. “Not that stealing is a good thing, it’s just necessary sometimes.”

 

~X~X~

 

Dean hotwired a car in another parking lot. Trace and Xaden got into the backseat together. “You’ve been awfully quite,” Xaden mused.

 

“Don’t have nothin’ to say” Trace responded.

 

“Ok, so you’re pissed at me. Talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Trace laughed a mirthless laugh. “What’s wrong? You brought me here only to lose you anyway! I don’t understand. At least if you came by yourself, I knew that I was losing you forever. Now, I have to watch it happen. Why did you do it?”

 

“Because, if something goes wrong after I’m gone — and our world doesn’t change…you’d be in a better place. I wanted you to be somewhere where you could walk around freely and not be afraid that you would be murdered for who you are and what you refuse to let yourself become. I did it because I love you.”

 

Trace was looking out of the window, tears sliding down his face.

 

“Um, Trace? You need to let up some on him. I understand where he’s coming from. I would do anything for Sam. ANYthing. I’d sell my own soul to protect his. It’s that simple. It’s what love is about, the willingness to give oneself for the person that you love.”

 

“That’s NOT what love is!” Trace snarled. “Love is spending the rest of your life with the person that you love, taking care of them, making love, holding them — talk…talking,” he sniffed. “Not DYING!”

 

~X~X~

 

 

Sam didn’t drive to a bar, he just got on the road and headed north, in the opposite direction from the bar.

 

He knew that Dean would probably kill him for taking his car, but if he would’ve left without it, it would have been suspicious since they were about fifteen miles from the nearest joint. 

 

Sam knew what he had to do. It was the only thing that made any sense. He was going to summon the demon and surrender, give himself freely. There was no other way about it. He wasn’t going to kill his unborn son. 

 

TBC…


	3. The Beginning Of The End

Sam drove for around sixteen hours before he stopped. He wanted to make sure that he put as much distance between himself and Dean and their son as possible. He didn’t want to be found. Not yet. He only hoped that when the darkness took him over that he wouldn’t kill them. He hoped that the future would play out as far as Dean getting pregnant, but that Dean or Xaden one would kill him before he had the chance to kill Dean.

 

Sam pulled into a Comfort Inn, where there was an underground parking garage, so that if they were trying to pick up his trail, they would pass the place altogether. They rarely ever stayed in the nicer establishments. Sam also paid with a credit card that Dean didn’t know he had, one in the name of Mark Watts. 

 

Sam had finally came to the conclusion that they indeed had to have a back up plan in case the FBI got too close. Dean was wanted for three murders, Sam for one suspected murder, and he figured they needed to be safe rather than sorry. He’d gotten several credit cards and charged them up for cash, then opened a bank account in Tijuana along with wonderfully put-together fake pasts and ID’s to go along with it, thanks to Sam’s unbelievable talent on the computer. They’d live comfortably if they had to leave.

 

So Sam, once in the hotel room, wired all the money that was in the account to Bobby, along with an email telling him what he was doing, and then sat down and wrote Dean a letter that he would mail to Bobby.

 

_Dean,_

_I know that you don’t understand what I am about to do. But I hope that someday, you will forgive me._

_I have wired a significant amount of money to Bobby for you, he’ll be calling you in a few days I’m sure. I want you to take the money and disappear. You should already be in the family way by the time you actually get this letter. Sorry, I guess that it’s not really the time for jokes._

_I hope you understand that I love our son, and I that want him to be born, to have the chance at a good life, with the loving Father that I know you will be. Maybe this way, you can take him and go into hiding, and I won’t find you and harm you to get him._

_I don’t regret my decision, I know that I am doing what needs to be done. I love you Dean. You are my world. I was born the day you loved me, and I will love you until the end of time. I only hope that you have the strength in you to put a bullet through my head instead of let me hurt our baby. The fact that the life we will create together happens when I’m evil really doesn’t matter. As Xaden said, I apparently never stopped loving you._

_Remember Dean, you mean everything to me, and I love you. Please do as I ask, I beg you. I can’t stand the idea that I would abuse and mistreat our son._

_I love you,_

_Sam_

 

Sam wiped the tears from his eyes, then folded the letter up and placed it inside an envelope. It was already addressed to Dean, in care of Bobby. He walked down to the front desk and asked them to mail it for him.

 

~X~X~

 

Dean bitched all day and all night when he couldn’t find Sam. They finally had to ditch the car, as they had had it for several hours and it was sure to have been reported by now. Dean taught Xaden and Trace how to boost the next one.

 

Dean was pretty proud of how quickly Xaden did it just with him giving directions. “Yeah, you’re a chip off the old block alright,” Dean smiled as he slapped his son on the back.

 

They made their way back to the rooms and got their belongings. Once back in the car, Dean headed North.

 

“How do you know this is the way that he went?” Trace asked.

 

“I know Sammy, trust me.”

 

~X~X~

 

Sam got back to his room and prepared all the things that he would need for the summoning ritual, then, kneeling before it all, he batted the chalice away and cursed. He wasn’t having second thoughts, but he was scared. He was afraid that he would indeed kill Dean, and the thought of that was more than he could stand.

 

Sam collapsed on the bed, sobbing into his pillow. He never saw the black smoke enter underneath the doorway.

 

“Hello Sammy,” the yellow eyed demon whispered. “I see you were planning on calling me.”

 

Sam tumbled off of the bed, pulling his gun from the table as he got to his feet, pointing it in the direction of the voice.

 

“How did you know wh…”

 

“I’m always watching you Sammy, I always know what’s going on with you,” the demon mused as he stepped closer. “You wanted to talk?” he said as he motioned to the mess on the floor.

 

“Yeah, I guess I did,” Sam answered, putting the gun in his waistband.

 

“What do you wanna talk about?” he smiled his sickening smile. Sam felt the bile rise in his throat, the words were on his tongue, but they wouldn’t fall out of his mouth.

 

“You need to ask what he’s doing? You see the things before you. You know what he wants,” a voice from behind Sam spoke. Sam twisted around to see a small, young-looking woman behind him.

 

“What are you doing here? You know that he’s mine!!” the demon yelped in a fearful voice.

 

“Yours? Someone this powerful, with this much promise, yours? I don’t think so. I believe that he belongs higher up on the food chain, don’t you? I mean, you know what he will be able to do once he comes into his powers.”

 

The woman moved toward Sam in the most unnatural movements that he had ever seen in his whole life. She reached up and touched the side of Sam’s face, and he felt as if he were on fire. “Do you want to come with me Sam, join me in my quest, the quest that you were destined to for?”

 

“What will I become?” he asked shakily.

 

She smiled, if she were not a demon, she would have been beautiful. “Like me.”

 

“And what are you?”

 

“The first, Sam. I can make you the purest form of us to ever walk the earth, all you have to do is accept your destiny.”

 

Sam swallowed, nodded, and softly spoke, “I accept it.”

 

The Devil did not touch him again, but darkness filled Sam’s soul. He felt the evil coursing through his veins, felt the humanity slowly leaking from his soul. The change had forced him to his knees, but he soon recovered. When he stood, he smiled at the Devil. “And to think I ever resisted.”

 

The yellow eyed demon stepped back, bringing Sam’s attention to him. Sam waved his index finger away from his own body, toward the wall. The demon was sent sprawling into it, roughly three feet off of the floor. Sam walked up to him, “You know, I spent most of my life looking for you. Wanting to exact my revenge for what you did to my family. But that’s forgotten; this is simply because I don’t like you.”

 

Sam squeezed his hand into a fist, and the demon began to scream and writhe against the wall. It was choking and sputtering. A human would have been dead by now, but apparently demons were a little harder to kill than Sam thought. Sam lifted his head, staring right into the bastards yellow eyes, and the monster that had haunted the Winchesters for over twenty years then burst into flames, and was gone as quickly as he'd arrived.

 

“See Sam, I told you. You’re capable of so much, but I’ll leave you to it now. It’s time for you to play. I believe that your first priority has just crossed the city line. Make sure he finds you.”

 

And with those words, the Devil was gone.

 

Sam closed his eyes and concentrated on the Impala that was underground in the garage. It disappeared and reappeared outside the motel, in plain view of the road. Sam smiled. Yeah, Dean would find him.

 

~X~X~

 

“Dad! Look, your car!” Xaden shouted, pointing out the front window.

 

Dean sighed with relief. He was glad that he found Sam, and after he hugged him, and maybe a little kiss, he was kicking his ass.

 

Dean parked the stolen car down the street and the trio walked to the hotel. Upon entering, the desk clerk said “May I help you?”

 

“Yeah, could you tell me what room Sam Winchester is in?”

 

The clerk typed in the name, “Winchester, I don’t believe I recall a Winchester checking in toni…” Right in front of the clerk's eyes, the name Sam Winchester appeared on the screen. “Oh, yes," she sounded perplexed, "he’s in room 212."

 

On the elevator, Trace said “Do you think he’s ok? I mean, he wouldn’t do anything stupid would he?”

 

“I don’t know. He seemed pretty determined to save me, but I don’t understand. Why can’t he see that the whole reason that I came back was to save him, make the world a better place?”

 

“He loves you son, plain and simple,” Dean told Xaden, resting his hand on his shoulder.

 

“I hope he knows what he’s doing. And I hope we’re not to late,” Xaden said shaking his head.

 

“It’s gonna be fine,” Dean assured him.

 

“I hope so, I’m really scared.”

 

Dean knocked on the door, there was no answer. “SAMMY!” he called out as he knocked again.

 

Dean turned the knob on the door and it opened. When they walked into the room, they saw Sam sitting on the floor, tears falling down his face in front of the summoning paraphernalia.

 

Dean cautiously walked forward, “Sam?”

 

Sam looked up, “I couldn’t do it, Dean. I was gonna call him, give myself over — but, I couldn’t do it.” He sobbed, wrapping his arms around his brother. Dean hugged him tightly.

 

"It's ok Sammy, I got ya, and I won't let anything happen to you."

 

"Hey, we, uh - we're gonna go get our own room." Xaden spoke up. "I'm glad you're ok, Sam."

 

Sam didn't say anything, only pulled Dean closer to him. Trace and Xaden slowly began to back out of the room. "Hey," Dean said, holding out his hand, money clenched in his fist. "I think you'll need this for a room." Xaden stepped forward and took the money, then reached down and touched Sam's shoulder. He had projected his happiness and love into Sam so that he would know how happy he was that he was alright. Sam recoiled as if he were burnt. 

 

"Sorry son, I guess I'm feeling guilty that I couldn't go through with it is all," Sam immediately lied when he saw the hurt that flashed in Xaden's eyes. Sam wasn't quite ready for them to know he was evil.

 

~X~X~

 

Dean pulled Sam up off of the floor and began to clean up the mess that lay there. "I can't believe you were gonna do this, Sammy. You were acutally going to allow yourself to become evil. I mean, I get it. I love Xaden too, but we can find some other way. Maybe we can start on some research, find a way for a man to carry a child, I don't know. There has to be something out there that we can do."

 

Sam's eyes narrowed a bit, he was sick of Dean's blabbering. He was here to do a job, get him pregnant and leave. That's it. He'd find Dean after his son's birth, and make sure that things were different than they apparently turned out in the future.

 

Sam walked up behind Dean and wrapped his arms around his waist and began kissing his neck. The affection was necessary, regardless of how difficult Sam was finding it to do. Well, part of him was finding it hard to do, the other part, not so much. He loved Dean. He still loved him. It was coursing through his veins just as quickly as the poison of evil.

 

Dean slid his hand up around Sam's neck and gripped his hair, moaning. Dean turned his head and pulled Sam to his mouth. kissing him hard. Sam was on overdrive, his body aching and yearning to be buried inside the one that he was kissing. His hard cock was pressed into Dean's ass, their jeans the only barrier. Sam yanked him around and slid his hands under his ass pulling him up onto the dresser behind him. Sam's hands went to work on Dean's jeans, the zipper falling as he pressed his hand into his underwear. 

 

Dean pulled Sam's shirt over his head, then pulled off his own. Sam's mouth latched onto one of his nipples, sucking and biting at the small nub, driven by the rising moans and pants coming from his brother beneath him.

 

Sam pulled Dean off of the dresser as Dean wrapped his legs around his waist, their lips crashing together in a passion-frienzied kiss. "Can't wait to be inside you, missed you so fucking bad," Sam panted.

 

Dean slid his hands inside Sam's jeans and gripped his ass..."Naked," Dean panted. "Now, want you in me baby."

 

Sam quickly undressed and pulled the remaining clothes off of Dean. Sam turned him over onto his stomach, and licked him along the crack of his ass, spreading him gently. Sam's tongue circled his hole, causing Dean to grind his hard cock into the mattress. "Fuck Sammy, thaaaat feels gooood."

 

Sam's tongue briefly breached the tight ring of muscles, and Dean pressed backwards toward Sam, causing him to push Dean back into the mattress and hold him down as he tongue fucked him. 

 

Dean's panting and writhing were erratic, his moans getting louder and louder before he came with a shout of Sam's name. 

 

Sam turned him over and ran his hand through the come on the mattress, then slicked his cock with his brothers thick cream. He lifted Dean's legs up around his waist and pressed his cock at his entrance, pressed the head inside. Dean gasped slightly as Sam's massive cock entered him. Sam pressed his lips into Dean's sucking and lightly biting on his tongue. Dean started to thrust his hips up as Sam had yet to move inside of him.

 

Sam slid his cock almost completey out of Dean's body and slammed back in quite powerfully, causing Dean to shout out in ecstacy - Sam's dick had brushed the small bundle of nerves so perfectly that Dean's cock was hard again.

 

They moved against each other, Dean panting his love over and over to his lover. Sam acutally responded back his love.

 

Dean felt his orgasm building and he drew his legs tighter around Sam's waist, forcing Sam's cock even deeper inside his body. Sam came, his come exploding with a white heat, filling his lover. As Dean felt his brother fill him, his own cock exploded between their bellies.

 

~X~X~

 

Sam lay on his side, panting, trying to gather his wits about himself. His mind was torn with the love he still felt in his blackened heart, and the evil that was coursing through his soul.

 

"Damn Sammy, that was - fuck that was amazing," Dean said as he laid his head on Sam's chest.

 

"Yeah, it was."

 

"I love you," Dean purred as he pressed his lips to Sam's sweat covered chest. Sam slightly flinched at his touch.

 

"What's wrong?" Dean asked lifting his head and looking into Sam's eyes.

 

"Tell Xaden not to worry about me, I'm alright."

 

Dean sat up. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

 

"Xaden. You said that he told you on the elevator that he was worried that you all were too late, and he was worried about me."

 

"No, I didn't. We didn't talk at all Sam, we just sort of fell into bed."

 

Sam gave a light chuckle under his breath. "Well shit Dean, I didn't think you'd catch that. I guess I have to be a little more careful with what I say, don't I?"

 

"Christo!"

 

Sam's eyes filled with the darkness that was in his soul. With a gentle movement from his head, he tossed Dean from the bed, and held him to the floor with his mind. 

 

"You fucking bastard, you led me to believe that you were my Sam? I'm gonna...."

 

"You're gonna what Dean? We both know that you don't have it in you to kill me," Sam laughed. "Not at all. But remember," Sam said as he rubbed his hand over Dean's abdomen. "You have our baby growing inside you now. So you take care of him, and I'll see you after he's born to collect him!!"

 

Sam bent his head, and lightly kissed his brothers lips, "You know, you really are beautiful. I may see you again before then."

 

With those final words...Sam disappeared right before Dean's eyes.

 

TBC...


	4. Time Heals All Wounds?

**2032**

 

Sam stood on the large balcony of his elaborate home, watching the people below. His house was simply the most beautiful home in the entire city. Marble floors, expensive paintings on every wall of the two story palace.

 

The downstairs included a living room, large kitchen, expansive office, bathroom and an indoor pool. Upstairs were three large bedrooms, Sam’s, Tallis’ and the one that had been Xaden’s, and a gym. 

 

Tallis continued to live with Sam, even after Xaden had run away. He had his own room but frequently shared Sam’s bed. 

 

~

 

Sam regretted having a houseful tonight. He wasn’t in the mood for company, but Tallis had intervened and talked him out of tossing the crowd from his presence. Literally. So Sam had gone upstairs to his bedroom and lounged on the balcony. He was watching Tallis talking to a young man who appeard somewhat...underprivileged. He was dressed in a manner that was not common with the people that Sam associated with. Sam watched closely, trying to read his lips. When Sam specifically saw the newcomer's lips form "Xaden" he materialized right in front of the young man. 

 

"What do you know about my son?" he snarled, Sam's eyes dark with rage, his hand wrapping around the man's neck. 

 

The man made a choking sputter, as Tallis' placed his hand on Sam's arm. "Sam, if you kill him...we'll not know where he is." Sam's face was twitching, his lips slightly curled up on the edge. "Sam, please?" Tallis asked calmly. Sam released the man. 

 

"Take him inside, NOW!" Sam ordered, storming back inside his house.

 

~

 

When Tallis entered the house with the young man, Sam was downing a large glass of bourbon. "TALK!" he ordered, pointing to the stranger.

 

Tallis spoke instead. "This is Matthew. He has been on the inside with the Scourge. I haven't spoken to him in nearly three months so that he wouldn't draw attention being gone. He seems to have some information on Xaden, and was about to tell me when you...came to us."

 

Matthew looked terrified when Sam turned his eyes back on him, "Speak!" he ordered.

 

"Uhh, Xaden and Trace have left here, they...."

 

"Who the fuck is Trace?" Sam interrupted.

 

"His boyfriend."

 

Sam threw his head back and laughed. "I guess he didn't fall too far from the tree afterall did he Tal?"

 

Tallis only smiled at Sam, then he looked to where Matthew was sitting on the sofa and urged him to go on.

 

"Well, they left here. I walked in on them as they left - through some sort of portal. I had suspected that Trace was a witch...but to call up a portal? That's pretty powerful. I'd heard them talking on several occasions about going back and stopping Mr. Winchester, so I think that's exactly what they did...went back in time."

 

Sam threw his glass across the room, smashing it into a Picasso. "When the fuck did they do this?" 

 

"A few weeks back."

 

"A few weeks?" Sam growled as he lifted the man off of the sofa with his mind, roughly around five feet off of the floor. Sam started to close his hand into a fist, slowly choking the life out of Matthew's body. "If he's been gone a few weeks, why did it take you so long to tell us? I mean, who cares if the disgusting filth knew you were a traitor, he's gone now!"

 

Matthew made one last gasp for breath as his eyes and nose started to bleed. When his body went limp Sam threw him across the room and into the wall, where his body more or less exploded from the force of Sam's mind. "Get someone in here to clean that up, and then get those fucking people off my lawn!" Sam growled as he went upstairs.

 

~

 

Tallis walked into Sam's bedroom. Others would have called him crazy at his audacity - just coming in uninvited. But Tallis trusted Sam. Completely. Sam didn't trust anyone, but Tallis was as close as he would come. "Sam?"

 

"Why didn't you tell me about your little spy?" Sam snarled.

 

"Because I know you, you would have wanted answers like that," Tallis said snapping his fingers. "Matthew needed time to get inside, get close to Xaden. I know you Sam. Even if you don't like to admit it, I knew what you would do the instant you found out about this. I'm just glad you took it out on him," Tallis laughed.

 

"What makes you think that you're not going to follow?" Sam quizzed.

 

"If you must, then do it. I've told you time and time again. I'm here for you to do with me as you wish, Sam."

 

A smile played across Sam's lips as he walked forward, closing the distance between them. Tallis was sexy. His sleek dark hair was pulled into a ponytail low at the nape of his neck. He was in his fifties just like Sam, but neither looked their age...seems evil well-preserved the skin, unlike the soul. His build was neither large nor small, but his skin was well tanned, and his eyes were the haunting color of blue food coloring. Sam thought he was quite beautiful, and he did enjoy their escapades.

 

Tallis reached out and stroked his fingers across Sam's cheek. Now, touching Sam without permission in such an intimate way is something that Tallis rarely did. Depending on his mood, Sam would throw him across the room, or perhaps onto the bed.

 

Sam seemed to be in a good mood, as he allowed him to continue his exploration of his face. Tallis' hand slipped around behind Sam's head and he pulled him down to his mouth. Their lips met in a deep kiss, Sam moaning into Tallis' mouth. "On your knees," Sam ordered him. Tallis quickly complied, working on Sam's pants, pulling on the zipper and lowering his pants to the floor. "Suck my cock, take me in deep."

 

Tallis slid his lips down Sam's hard flesh, as Sam closed his eyes...his mind seeing Dean. Dean on the floor, sucking him in.

 

~X~X~

 

Hours later, after Sam had taken Tallis over and over again, he was back out on the balcony. Tallis was standing in the doorway watching him. 

 

"So, do you think you can call up the portal?" Tallis asked.

 

Sam laughed. "Nobody knows me as well as you, it makes me uncomfortable."

 

"You have no worries Sam. You know that. I'll go, I'll bring him back." Tallis turned and left the room. 

 

"You do that." Sam spoke into the empty room, his eyes narrowing at the idea of what his son was trying to do.

 

 

Present Day

 

Dean was laying on his back in the middle of the kingsized bed. There was a light knock on the adjoining door before it opened. "Dad?"

 

It had been two weeks since Sam had tricked Dean into bed, and Dean had not said much of anything. He'd not even driven his car, Xaden had. They'd been trying to track Sam down. But their efforts had fallen short.

 

"Dad? Trace went and got food. You should eat something. It's not healthy for you, or me," he laughed a little. Dean turned over onto his side away from his son. 

 

"Not hungry."

 

"Well, you still need to eat. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning. Please?"

 

"Maybe later. Just go, ok? I'm tired."

 

Xaden shut the door and went back into his own room. The air seemed heavy suddenly. Dean knew what was about to happen. It had happened four times since Sam's change. 

 

"Hi Dean," Sam softly spoke. "I've missed you, big brother." The bed gave as Sam's weight pressed onto it, spooning up against Dean's back, Sam's arm snaking around his waist. 

 

Dean took in a shaky breath, "Where have you been?"

 

"Out and about. How are you feeling?" he asked as his hand played across Dean's flat belly. "Anything weird goin on?"

 

"Other than I'm knocked up? No."

 

Sam chuckled. "Now that sounded like sarcasm. Are you telling me that you're not happy to be carrying my child?"

 

"Only to have you kill me when you take him? Not so much Sam."

 

"Dean I would never kill you, ever. I - still..." Sam paused. The words were there, the feelings overwhelming him - torn between the two worlds that his life had become.

 

"Love me?" Dean laughed. "Sam, if you loved me, you would have never done this. You wouldn't have called the demon to come and take you."

 

"See, that's where you're wrong Dean. I didn't call the demon. I couldn't do it. The Devil came to me, I mean - sure I gave myself willingly, but I didn't call her. And that yellow eyed bottom feeder is dead. I killed him."

 

"So, you did this for your son, a son that you don't want anything to do with emotionally in the future but try to mold him into something he's not. So much so that he runs from you. Why do you want him Sam? Just to hurt me?"

 

Sam turned Dean over to face him. He pulled his mouth to his, rolling his body on top of Dean. The kiss was long and started gentle, but ended up hard, fast and wet. Sam began undressing Dean, snaking his shirt slowly up his body, Sam's lips following. Next, he inched his fingers inside the edge of his boxers, pulling them down inch by inch, his tongue laping at his hip, nose pressing into the warm skin.

 

Sam pulled Dean in deep into his mouth, Dean arching off of the bed, his legs spreading wide allowing Sam complete access to his body. Dean tangled his hands in Sam's hair. "Love you Sammy," Dean's voice broke. 

 

Dean's dick popped free from Sam's mouth and he kissed his way up his brother's body, stretching out along his golden form. Sam pulled Dean's legs high on his waist and eased his cock inside and kissed him and Dean tasted himself on Sam's tongue.

 

If this was all Dean could have for the remainder of his life, these small visits from Sam where it was strictly sex...he'd take it. As pitiful as it sounded, he'd do it, allow Sam to take him whenever he wanted.

 

Dean was pulling Sam to him, his legs tightly wrapped around his back, taking him deeper. Sam's moans were building, growing louder as he felt his orgasm creep upon him, Dean not too far behind, his cock being serviced from the hot friction of their bodies as they moved against one another. Sam came hard, releasing deep inside his brother's body, muffling the cries of passion he let out, as he didn't want the duo in the next room barging in on them. Dean moaned loudly, Sam covering his mouth with his own to stifle the noise.

 

"Sammy?" Dean panted as Sam fell in beside him on the bed, Dean rolling to his side, laying his arm across his chest. "Stay with me tonight. Don't leave."

 

Sam smiled and pulled Dean against his chest. "I'll stay a while. Just close your eyes and sleep."

 

~X~X~

 

Xaden was the first to wake, Trace wrapped protectively around him. He slowly slipped out of bed so as not to wake him. He wanted to check on his Father. He was worried about him, and the fact that he wasn't taking care of himself was the first major issue. Xaden was going to make him eat today if he had to shove it in his mouth himself.

 

He tapped on the door and pulled it open. His mouth fell to the floor when he saw Sam in the bed with Dean, both sleeping, both naked. "Dad? Wha..? How could you do this?" he spouted in a whimpered tone. 

 

Dean bolted from the bed, effectly rousing Sam, who disappeared the instant he saw Xaden. 

 

"Damn it," Dean growled as he stood and pulled his jeans on. "Xaden, can't you just knock on a fucking door until I actually come and answer it?"

 

"How long has this been going on?"

 

"What? Me fucking Sam...quite a while son," Dean answered in his usual cocky banter.

 

"How could you do it? I've told you the kind of monster he is, I mean - do you really want to die? He could kill you with just a thought, how can you invite him into your bed when you know he's evil?"

 

"I...how can I make you understand? I love him. I mean, would you just stop loving Trace if he suddenly became evil? No, you know you wouldn't. I can't just turn off my heart, Xaden. I can't turn him away. There's still some of Sam - the old Sam - in there somewhere, or he wouldn't still love me. I can feel it. He loves me, and I can save him. We're going to save him."

 

"You tried, the whole time you were pregnant with me. You failed, and he killed you for it."

 

"Sam told me that he wouldn't kill me, and I believe him."

 

Xaden threw his head back and bellowed. "HE'S EVIL, HE'S A LIAR! Don't you understand that?"

 

He's not entirely evil. Evil doesn't love Xay...it doesn't have the capacity. And he told me that the demon isn't the one who brought about the change. He said that he killed the demon. He said that the Devil is the one that brought him over. Did he ever talk to you about it?"

 

"Sam never talked to me about anything. He barked orders, demanded things, and hit me. That's it."

 

"You still loved him despite it all."

 

"I've never loved that Sam. NEVER. I came back to stop him from being this hell on Earth. This monster that would kill you in order to not have to look at you. You have no idea what he's like. Because whatever face he's showing you when he appears in your bed is NOTHING like what he really is."

 

"Well, then - that's even more reason to save him."

 

~X~X~

 

Tallis had stepped into the world he remembered before his life was changed forever. Before his eyes fell on Sam Winchester and he fell in love with him.

He had been 29 years old when he'd met Sam in a bar outside of Seattle. Sam had come on to him almost instantly upon seeing him. It didn't take long before Tallis was pressed face first into the side of the building, pants around his ankles with Sam burried balls deep, fucking him into a stupor. Sam had sensed the darkness that was lingering beneath the surface of the man's soul. He'd smelled the scent of death on him, the scent that told Sam that the man was a killer. It was easy to draw him over to Sam's side as Sam knew the man was taken with him the moment their eyes locked.

 

Tallis never regretted crossing over into the darkness for Sam. And when Sam told him of Dean and their impending son, he knew then that he'd love the child as much as he loved Sam.

 

~

 

Tallis closed his eyes and concentrated, willing himself to find Xaden. He had a power in him, a power that Sam knew nothing about. He could locate a person simply by wanting to. Almost as if a beacon went off in his head and mapped out a direct route. That's how he knew where to send Matthew. Tallis knew that he'd never be able to infiltrate the Scourge, he was too well known. 

 

He never really understand why he chose not to tell Sam of his ablility. Maybe deep down he was simply afraid of what Sam might force him to do. Just because he was in love with Sam didn't mean that he didn't know the things he was capable of.

 

It took him less than twenty minutes to locate Xaden, find a car, and be on his way to take his child, as Tallis had often told Xaden that he felt like he was his son, home, back to Sam, back into the world in which they belonged.

 

~X~X~

 

Dean was pacing up and down the motel room in front of the bed. Xaden had argued with Dean for over an hour about how Dean needed to prevent Sam from getting into the same room with him in the future. For his own safety. Dean refused, arguing back that there was no way that Sam was purely evil, that he was going to save him, or die trying. Period. And that he wasn't doing anything to block Sam from coming to him. In Dean's mind, the more that Sam came to him, made love to him, the more human Sam might become. Xaden had shouted that there was nothing human about Sam anymore and that Dean needed to pull his head out of his ass and realize that, and the sooner the better for everyone involved.

 

Xaden had stormed out when Dean told him that he wasn't taking his shit anymore, and that he needed to grow the fuck up, and right God damned now.

 

"Do you think he'll go looking for Sam?" Dean asked Trace.

 

"I don't think so. I'm sorry that he took your car. You know that he won't hurt it, he treasures that car."

 

"Do what?" Dean asked haughtily.

 

"Your car. Sam kept it. Xaden loves that car. He'd asked Sam several times if he could have it. Xaden said that Sam never acted like he said a word to him about it. He said that was when he knew the car was yours."

 

"Huh. Trace, do you think that Sam can be saved? I mean, I know Sam. He wasn't lying to me. He said that he wouldn't kill me, and I believe him. What does Xaden really know about when I died? He said that Sam never talked to him other than telling him what he was going to do, so how does he know that Sam killed me?"

 

"Tallis told him. He said that he was with Sam when he did it, but that he could never tell Sam that he told him the truth because Sam would make him go away. Xaden knew that Tallis was the main peacekeeper between them. Xaden used to tell me stories. Sam didn't constantly beat on him or anything. Just when Xaden would push and push him, he'd haul off and knock him across the room. The only time that it really got out of hand was when Xaden found that photo of you in Sam's wallet."

 

Dean sighed, and cringed a bit rubbing his stomach. "Ohh, that smarted," he groaned.

 

"What?"

 

"I had this...pain. I don't know, it was weird."

 

"It couldn't be the baby...could it? I mean, you're barely a few weeks."

 

"I don't know. Never been pregnant before," Dean laughed. 

 

~

 

Xaden had pulled into the local park and was sitting in the car. He was so angry with Dean. He didn't understand how he could allow Sam to use him like that, how he could let himself be put in danger. Why didn't he understand?

 

Xaden rested his head on the steering wheel as the tears started falling. He'd already failed. He failed Sam. Sweet Sam that he'd gotten to know over a very short period of time. Whom he'd learned to love...and it wasn't enough time. 

 

There was a light tap on the window. Great. Probably a cop. Xaden wiped at his eyes and turned his head. Tallis. It was Tallis standing there. How did he know where to come? How did he find him? And more importantly was Sam...the Sam from his time, with him? The Sam that had manarinated in his own evil for twenty five years. THAT Sam was much more dangerous. He'd had a taste for killing and a taste of real power, he'd be much much more of a threat.

 

"It's ok son, I'm alone. Come on out here and talk to me."

 

Xaden started the car, and backed out of the parking place that he was occupying.

 

Tallis walked toward the car. "XADEN!!" 

 

The Impala's tires squeeled as he left the parking lot, the smell of rubber burning in the air.

 

"Oooook, that can't be good," Tallis mumbled. "Not good at all."

 

~X~X~

 

The Impala came to a screeching halt in front of the hotel and Xaden was out of the car in two seconds flat and into his fathers room.

 

"We have to go! Right NOW!!" Xaden shouted. 

 

Dean turned around to face his son. His stomach was slightly rounded, looking far more pregnant than just a few weeks. "What the...??" Xaden started.

 

"Yeah, I look about two months instead of two weeks. I don't suppose your father shared that you were born alot quicker than nine months?"

 

"No, I mean, I told you - Sam didn't talk to me about anything. And when I'd ask, he'd ignore me. Tallis is the one that told me that Sam took me about a month after I was born."

 

"Maybe this Tallis has more layers to him than you are aware of?"

 

"May....be. Maybe he does!!!"

 

TBC....


	5. Weeks, Not Months

  
Author's notes: Thanks to everyone who has read, and reviewed too! Hope you like the new chapter!

*****

* * *

Xaden was practically in a panic. "We have to go right now!”

 

“Calm down son, you…” Dean started, Xaden interrupting him mid-sentence. 

 

“You don't understand, Tallis is here, and he found me once - he can do it again. And what if Sam is with him? I'm telling you, you don't want to have to deal with him. He's the most evil and..."

 

“Alright Xaden, I get it. But if Sam was here, don't you think that he'd have been with Tallis?" Dean asked as he absentmindedly rubbed at his belly.

 

"That's another thing...what's up with your stomach?” Xaden inquired pointing at Dean’s slightly rounded tummy. “You should only be two weeks pregnant. I don't understand how you can look like this!"

 

"Well, that's the thing. I don't know what's going on. I've never been this way before, and since you don't seem to know anything helpful - other than the fact that I die...there isn't a whole hell of a lot that we can do, is there?" Dean said snidely. "I'm telling you son, Sam would not kill me. I don't care how evil he is...he won't kill me."

 

"You don't know what he's like Dad. You didn't have to deal with him after he turned..."

 

"YES, I have! I've been letting Sam into my bed almost every night since he turned. And he has never once tried to hurt me, harm me or do anything other than make love to me. I don't think for one second that he is the one who killed me."

 

"So, who do you think did it? I mean for someone to just up and kill you...people know better than to betray Sam. He'd never allow someone to live if they outright defied him."

 

"He let you live."

 

Xaden laughed, "Yeah, and what a great life I had."

 

~X~X~

 

Three days later

 

Xaden was laying in bed, his back against Trace’s chest, his head leaned against his lover's shoulder. Trace had his arms wrapped protectively around him. Xaden sighed heavily.

 

“What is it?”

 

“My Dad. How can he keep letting Sam into his bed? I just don’t understand it. I’ve told him over and over that Sam —“

 

“Babe,” Trace started, “just like Dean told you, he can’t just turn his love off. If something happened and you were suddenly evil, I wouldn’t stop loving you. If you came to me, I would take what I could get from you, just like Dean is with Sam. He loves him, Xaden. And if he really believes that Sam loves him and wouldn’t hurt him, then we should, too. Dean wouldn’t put you in any danger.”

 

“I can take care of myself.”

 

“Not you! The little you, the one who hasn’t been born yet. Dean loves you. I don’t think he’d risk it.”

 

“Sam isn’t capable of love Trace. I lived with him for twelve miserable years. Trust me, I know.”

 

“But you don’t know the Sam that just turned evil, you know the Sam that lost the only person who he ever loved. The only person that he had in the world who loved him. That could be what sent him over the edge…”

 

Xaden scoffed. “You really don’t think that Sam killed him?”

 

Trace shook his head. “No, I really don’t.”

 

There was a soft knock at their adjoining room door. “Alright if I come in?” Dean’s voice asked.

 

“Yeah, Dad.” 

 

Dean entered their room. He smiled at his son laying in his lover's arms. “What?” Xaden asked frowning.

 

Dean only shook his head, “I’m glad to see that you found love in the world you live in. It’s important to have that. I never knew what it was like to love until Sam and I — uh,” realization suddenly hit him, and Dean frowned for a moment. “Do you know that me and Sam are…”

 

“Brothers? Yeah, Father — I mean, Sam told me. It sorta freaked me out a little when I first figured out what it meant, you know, where I understood that that sort of thing isn’t…”

 

“Right?” Dean asked.

 

“Accepted. I was going to say accepted. Look, I don’t care that you and Sam are brothers. I really base that wide anyhow, because he’s not human anymore, and he’s got pure concentrated evil coursing through his veins, so he’s not really a Winchester anyhow.”

 

Dean’s head snapped over toward his son. “Don’t talk about him like that,” he said angrily.

 

Xaden growled and scrubbed his palms over his face. “You know, he meets Tallis in a few short weeks, and he fucks him up against a wall outside of a bar. I don’t think that him cheating on you qualifies as love.”

 

Dean’s eyes started to tear up. “No, he wouldn’t do that. He loves me, I know he loves me.”

 

“Well, I guess there is a lot of play on what an evil being considers love to be.”

 

Dean turned and left the room. Trace pushed Xaden up from between his legs. “He didn’t deserve that, Xay. What you just did was done out of spite and meanness. What has Dean ever done to you for you to have destroyed him like that?”

 

“Destroyed him? All I did was tell the truth. Tallis told me all the things that happened with Dad and Sam, and the birth, and Dad dying…he just never said that it was in a much shorter range of time. I just assumed that Dad was pregnant for nine months, but with him already showing, it looks like it’s going to be only a matter of weeks.”

 

“Yeah, I notice that Tallis didn’t bother to tell you that things happened differently either, he just let you believe and assume.”

 

“Why do you hate him so much?” Xaden asked.

 

Trace half laughed half scoffed. “He’s evil, Xaden. Sam is evil and you hate him for it, so how can you take up for Tallis? I mean, you ran from him the other day!”

 

“That’s because I was afraid that Sam was with him. I’m not afraid of Tallis.”

 

“Who do you think sent him here, and why? Sam did…Sam sent him here to bring you back. Back home to your Father.”

 

Xaden didn’t say anything. 

 

“You’re a hypocrite, you know that? You have no right to act so high and mighty when it comes to Sam. You love Tallis, yeah, yeah — I know it’s different from being in love like Dean is with Sam, but you still love Tallis, and he is every bit as evil as Sam is. If you think that Tallis is capable of love, what makes you think that Sam isn’t?”

 

“Sam isn’t capable, he never loved me!” Xaden shouted, the tears falling.

 

“So, because he never loved you, never showed you affection — you chose to hurt Dean by telling him about Tallis? I notice that you left out the part that he fucks Tallis because Dean went into hiding from him. And something else that I don’t think you've realized, we've changed the future already by coming back here. Maybe Sam will turn out differently. Maybe Dean won’t die now. I mean, he hasn’t gone into hiding. You said that Tallis told you that Dean went into hiding because he found out that Sam couldn’t be saved, right? What if everything that you think is truth is, in fact, lies? Tallis is in love with Sam, what if everything he ever told you about Dean is a lie? What if he’s the one who killed Dean so that he could have Sam and you to himself? HUH? You ever think of that?”

 

"No, Tallis wouldn't betray Sam like that. He'd never have killed Dad."

 

Trace snorted in disgust and shook his head. "I can't believe you are that gullible."

 

"FUCK YOU!" Xaden shouted as he stormed out of the room. In his haste, he'd actually opened the door to Dean's room instead of the door leading to the hallway. He only realized it when he slammed the door and startled Dean into jumping up off of the bed.

 

"What's wrong, son?" Dean asked concerned.

 

Xaden stared at him, disbelief clouding his senses. "How can you care what's wrong with me after what I told you?"

 

Dean smiled, "Easy, you're my son. It doesn't matter what you say, that won't change the fact that I love you."

 

"Look Dad, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blurted it out like that. I think the only reason that Sam...that he is with Tallis the night he meets him is because you were already in hiding. No matter what Sam did, he couldn't find you. I think that he was trying to fill some void in his life. I know that he doesn't and never did love Tallis. He's mostly a recreational habit. Sam didn't have many partners in the years that I was with him. Only one other than Tallis, to my recollection. Sam ended up killing him in the end because he was trying to kill Sam. He'd gotten on the inside, gotten close to Sam."

 

"How many people has Sam murdered? I mean, I...I just need to know."

 

"Will it change how you love him?" Dean thought for a moment, then shook his head no. "Then it doesn't really matter how many people he's killed, does it?" Xaden said, no sarcasm in his tone.

 

"Look, I know that you don't like your Father very much, but I'm telling you Xaden...I know that there is still good deep down within him. Somewhere. In the last few weeks, he has come to me several times and not once has he hurt me. It's been the same, just like before he changed."

 

Xaden nodded. "Alright, I'll try to give him the benefit of the doubt. But if he freaks out and kills us all, I don't want to hear any shit from you in the afterlife, ok?"

 

Dean smiled and pulled his son into a hug. "Alright, I think it's time for you to go make up with Trace. I'm sure that he's pretty torn up over your whole fight."

 

"Yeah, I've never been good at "I'm sorry" or "You were right" things."

 

Dean laughed. "Guess where you got it from?"

 

"Not just you, Sam is pretty stubborn too." Dean smiled and nodded. "Go on and make up with Trace."

 

Xaden walked over to the door, looked back before going inside - "Hey Dad?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I, uh...I love you."

 

"I love you, too."

 

~X~X~

 

When Xaden entered his and Trace's room, Trace was laying on his stomach face turned away from the door. Xaden walked over and sat down on the bed beside him. "I'm a dick, what can I say?"

 

Trace snorted a small laugh.

 

"I'm really sorry. I was wrong, and you are so very right. I was mean to Dad because I feel gipped in life where parents are concerned. And you're right about Tallis, too. I don't see why I think that he can love and Sam can't."

 

"Xay? It's okay. I was wrong, too. I know that you love Tallis, and that he protected you. I just want you to be careful."

 

Xaden leaned down and captured Trace's lips. He kissed him softly, his thumb ghosting gently against his cheek. "I love you so much. You mean the world to me, and without you, my life would mean nothing!"

 

Trace pulled Xaden down against his body and rolled over so that he was laying across him, Trace snaked his hand down the front of Xaden's pants and caressed his cock, causing a loud moan to escape his lips. In the other room, Dean's head snapped up at the sound of his son's moan. Dean stood and left his room, he couldn't stay and listen to his son making love - no, not at all.

 

Dean walked across the street to the diner...thanking God that it was still open. 

 

After two cups of decaf coffee, and two pieces of pie, Dean headed back to the motel. He'd been gone an hour and hoped against hope that his son and Trace were now fast asleep.

 

When he entered the room, he was thankful to hear nothing but silence in the air. Dean undressed and crawled into his bed, snuggling into the warmth of his covers.

 

~X~X~

 

Six weeks later

 

 

Sam hadn't visited Dean in a few weeks, which had Dean worried that he had done something wrong, something to make Sam angry. Dean also worried about Tallis. Had Sam met the Tallis of this time and had his first encounter with him?

 

They had rented a cabin set out on a lake in Tacoma, Washington. Their nearest neighbor was close to a mile away. Xaden was mothering Dean to death, and Dean, not wanting to upset his son, allowed him to do so. Dean's belly was huge. He was every bit of eight months pregnant. He had a very prominant waddle, and was feeling growing pains of the baby by leaps and bounds.

 

Dean was sitting outside on the porch, blanket across his lap and legs, drinking coffee. Trace walked outside and took the chair beside Dean. "How are you feeling today?" Trace asked.

 

"Pretty sore. Baby's kicking up a storm, couldn't sleep."

 

Trace laughed. "I can't believe that I'm going to see Xaden as a baby. It's just too surreal for words."

 

Dean laughed and took a sip of coffee and groaned, "I'll be glad when I can have regular coffee again. This decaf shit is killing me!"

 

"Has Sam come to see you?"

 

Dean shook his head. "I miss him," Dean laughed. "I never knew that I could love someone as much as I love him, and now he's gone. I don't know how to save him. I, uh...I feel like my heart is shattered, ya know? There's so much that I never told him. Like not telling him everyday how much I love him," a single tear fell down his cheek.

 

"Well, we've changed so much by coming back, ya know? Maybe Sam can be saved."

 

"What if he doesn't want to be saved? What if he chooses to stay the way he is? I don't think that I can live without him."

 

"Sam loves you, even the Sam in our time. He's the worst...thing...I have ever come across in my life. So full of power, hate and anger, but that Sam still loves you. I think that you can save him. Nothing is hopeless in my eyes."

 

"Trace, I know that you love my son, but do me a favor."

 

'Uh oh', Trace thought. Here is comes. Daddy dearest is gonna tell me to get lost, tell me I'm not good enough. "Sure, what's that?"

 

"Marry him, tell him every single day how much you love him. Show him how much you love him, don't ever take it for granted that he just knows. Alright? Promise me that."

 

Trace smiled, "You know, if I could go back in time and choose my parents, I'd choose you. My Mom and Dad ditched me because they were rich, and didn't want to lose their 'things'...they ran to Sam, they couldn't wait to fall under his rule...their house, money and cars were more important than I was. It's a hard thing to live with."

 

"I'm sorry. And if it makes you feel better, to me, you are my son. You love my child - purely. You are his partner, his other half, and even if I didn't know you, I'd love you for that. I'm just thankful that I have gotten to know you and love you for you."

 

Trace stood and walked over in front of Dean and went to his knees, and laid his head in his lap. "I love you too, Dean. Thank you for loving me."

 

Dean carded his fingers through his hair, "Don't thank me for loving you, you make it sound like it's a chore. It's not. You're an awesome person, and it's my pleasure to love you like a son." 

 

Trace wrapped his arms around Dean's middle, resting his head on his well rounded, protruding stomach. Dean bent his head and kissed the top of Trace's. "Son?"

 

"Yes sir?"

 

"You can call me Dad if you'd like."

 

"I'd like that, very much."

 

From the shadows, Xaden smiled. He was glad that his Dad loved his partner. He couldn't have wished for a better gift. Xaden cleared his throat, causing both men to jump. "Hey, you sleep ok?" Trace asked, standing and walking over to him, kissing him lightly. "Love you," he whispered. 

 

Xaden smiled, "Love you back."

 

"Ok, enough chick flick crap, we're all about to pop pussies if we ain't careful," Dean said standing up. "Ohh," he stifled back a groan, bending over, hand across his belly.

 

Xaden rushed to his Dad's side. "What is it? Are you ok?"

 

"Yeah," Dean said stanging up straight. "I'm alright, just growing pains. Been happening for weeks."

 

"You sure Dad?" Trace asked, "Why don't you go lay down?"

 

"Been laying down, can't get comfortable. I'm ok, just getting me something to drink."

 

Xaden took Dean's coffee cup and headed into the house. "I'll get it."

 

Dean growled in frustration, "I'm pregnant, not disabled!!" he shouted as he headed back to the chair.

 

~

 

"We really need to run into town for supplies, we're running low on everything. Dad, you need more coffee, I just put on another pot. We need bread and lunch meat," he said holding up a sandwich taking a big bite, "I mist used mhe lass of it," he garbled with his mouth full.

 

"K, well you go, I'll stay here and watch D..." Trace started, but Dean interrupted him.

 

"Whoa, wait a God damned minute. I think I can handle being here for a while by myself. I'm not going into labor anytime soon. I still have almost two full weeks if we compare months verses weeks in this," he said motioning to his stomach. "You two go, I'll call if anything happens."

 

"No," Xaden started. "You could go into labor early...do you really want to have me all alone?"

 

"I'll be fine. Just go."

 

~

 

The two boys reluctantly left to run to the store, which was quite a distance from the cabin. Dean sat out on the porch for around another twenty minutes before the heat of the day drove him inside. 

 

When he passed the threshold of the home, a wavy of pain washed through his body, quite a bit stronger than he'd been feeling throughout the morning. His knees buckled, and he was on all fours on the floor. "FUCK!!! Shit Xay, take it easy on your old man, huh?" he said sitting back on his haunches and rubbing his stomach. As Dean stood, he felt a warm trickle of something fall down his legs, soaking through his pants. "Oh, great! I pissed myself," he said outloud to nobody. 

 

Dean barely made it to his bedroom and had pulled off his pants when a pain greater than the one before wracked through his system. He sat down on the bed...and panted, "Kiddo, you have the worst timing!!"

 

TBC...


	6. Truths Unveiled

  
Author's notes: Here's tne next chapter..I hope you like it!

*****

* * *

"Glad to know that I didn't piss my pants!" Dean said out loud, "Ooook, where did I put the phone?" he said again looking around the bedroom. Dean walked to the dresser to grab some pants when another labor pain hit him. "Oh, SHIT!!! Jesus!" he yelled, leaning onto the dresser, trying to stay standing. 

 

"Alright...gotta get back to bed, gotta lay..."

 

"Do you always talk to yourself?" Sam asked from across the room.

 

"Sammy, glad to see you baby. I think that Xaden wants to make an early entrance." Sam walked over to him and helped him get on the bed. 

 

"You know, I knew that something was wrong with you, I could just sense it."

 

"Well, I'd like to know just how we are gonna get this baby outta me," Dean panted as he leaned back on the bed. Sam pushed his knees apart, and peered between his legs. 

 

"I'd say from there..." Sam pointed.

 

"Where?"

 

"You have a...you've got a slit."

 

"A WHAT? 

 

"I think it's like a birth canal..."

 

"I HAVE A...A PUSSY?"

 

"No Dean, that's not what it looks like. It's just an opening. I think it's how the baby is gonna come out."

 

"Sam, I swear to God, I'm kicking your ass after this baby is out of me!!" Dean moaned as another labor crashed through him. "This shit hurts, Sam...FUCK, can't you do something, like magically take the baby out of me? OH SHIT!" he moaned as he rolled to his side, eyes shut tight, his face scrunched in pain. "Sammy, I can't do this shit. I can't...you remember when I got ripped up when I was fifteen, by that black dog? This is worse than that!!"

 

Sam seemed to be torn with wanting to help Dean and the other somewhat enjoying the pain he was in. 

 

"Don't you stand there and fucking smile at me you bastard! You did this to me, I swear to God, I'm gonna rip your fucking dick off. You ever come near me again with that...that flag pole you have for a dick - that's it. Hedge clippers, scissors, an axe...whatever I can get my hands on!! That fucker is gone, you hear me?"

 

Sam smirked as he pulled Dean back over onto his side and pushed his legs apart. "I don't see anything yet."

 

"YAY for you Sam!"

 

"I think that you need to push Dean. You know, to get him out."

 

"SHUT THE FUCK UP SAM, you haven't ever been around anyone when they've had a baby...so quit telling me how to do this!!"

 

"Dean," Sam snarled, his face twitching, "stop being such a dick, you're pissing me off. I don't think you want to see me fully angry. It's not a very good thing."

 

"GET OUT!" Dean yelled. "Just go, I don't need you here. You're just gonna send someone after me anyhow, to take him away. Is that why you're here Sam, just decided to get a jumpstart on it and take him out of my body before I even get a chance to love him?" Dean yelled out as another pain hit, "Gotta push," he grunted as he grabbed his knees and pushed with all the strength he had inside himself.

 

Sam was tempted to leave, he had even stood and started to head to the door, "Sammy!! No, don't go. I'm sorry...please stay. I need you baby."

 

~X~X~

 

It had been close to an hour since Dean's water had broken, and he was still pushing with every contraction. Sam had started to see the baby's head crowning, and talked Dean through what was happening. When Xaden's head was finally through the opening, Sam perched himself on the bed and gently put his hands on either side of the baby's head as he started to turn, Sam pulled down easing the first shoulder out, then tilting the baby up to ease out the other. Xaden slid free of his body with one last cry of pain from Dean.

 

~X~X~

 

Sam bundled Xaden in a fluffy blanket after he was cleaned up and handed him to Dean. "Look at him Sammy. Tell me what you feel."

 

"I'm not sure. I feel something, but I'm not...I don't know how to -"

 

"You love him, don't you?"

 

Sam stood, "I'm going to grab some towels and get some water so I can clean you up."

 

Once Sam left the room, Dean heard the front door open. Great timing, he was hoping that Xaden and Trace wouldn't have come back while Sam was still here, it was just a bad situation waiting to happen.

 

"Hello Dean," a man said, gun pointed on him. The man had dark hair pulled into a ponytail. Dean smirked, "Tallis."

 

Tallis turned his head to the side. "Guess Xaden told you about me?"

 

"No, not a whole lot, but who else could you be? You here to take my son?"

 

"Well, seeing as how you never went into hiding - which caused Sam to go on a bender and meet me - what do you think? You fucked up my life. So, now I'm here to intervene a little earlier than I did before. So yeah, I'm here to kill you, and take Xaden to me, the other me...so he can find Sam. Get my life back on track."

 

Sam had made his way back toward the bedroom with towels and a large bowl of soapy water. He paused when he heard the man talking to Dean. 

 

Xaden had started to cry, Dean pulled the small child against his body and quietly shushed him, rocking back and fourth.

 

"So, you are the one who killed me? Told Xaden that his Father did it. Why?"

 

"Well, I couldn't allow Xaden to know that I was the one who killed you, now could I? Sam could have found out, and as evil as he is, he'd rip me apart. He still loves you to this very day, and you've been dead for twenty five years!" Tallis snarled, taking a few more steps into the room.

 

No one heard the door open behind them. "So, you killed me to have Sam all to yourself? Have my son?"

 

"I love them, and yes...I have this ability, you see. When I found out that Sam wanted you back to keep you with him, and your son...I knew what had to be done. I couldn't risk losing him. I can concentrate on a person, and I can just find them," Tallis laughed. "It's an amazing power. So I found you up in the Colorado mountains. When I got there, you fought back...trying to protect your son. You thought that was the only reason that I was there. You died, begging me not to hurt your baby."

 

Dean smirked, seeing Sam's eyes growing darker by the second, his rage building at the man speaking, who was basking in the thoughts of killing the only person he'd ever loved. What Dean didn't see was Xaden enter the room and pull a gun out of his duffle...Dean didn't see him until he cocked the gun and pressed it to the back of Tallis' head.

 

"You bastard!!" Xaden whimpered, tears falling down his face. "Do you know what it's like to find out your whole life is a lie? You made me hate Sam all these years because I thought he killed my Dad. You made me trust you, believe in you," Xaden's voice was cracking, his body trembling.

 

TBC....


	7. Come Home Sammy

  
Author's notes: Here's the final chapter too..hope you like the ending! Thanks to all who have read.  


* * *

"Xaden," Tallis started, "You don't understand."

 

"I understand that you killed my Dad, that's all I need to know! Except that I'm gonna kill you."

 

"You can't kill me, I know you, you don't have it in you," Tallis mused. "There's not a hateful bone in your body."

 

"He won't have to," Sam said from the shadows. He stepped beside Xaden, placing his hand on his shoulder. "Give me the gun."

 

Xaden shoved Sam away from him. "No! He has to pay for what he's done."

 

"He will," Sam said, his lips curling up into a wicked smile. Tallis was thrown across the room, landing on a large dresser, his injured body falling to the floor. Sam stared down at the man laying on the floor, "You tried to kill the only person who has loved me my whole life. Do you have any idea what I'm gonna do to you?"

 

Sam's hands fell onto Tallis' shirt, hauling him to his feet. Sam slammed him against the wall, the look in his eyes was feral, terrifying. Tallis made to scream but his face froze soundlessly as his hands went to his throat. "You almost turned my son into a murderer, I'm gonna enjoy watching you die." Tallis continued to struggle and grasp at his neck as if he were trying to remove someone's hands. Sam was slowly choking the life out of the man, without his hands anywhere near his throat. Tallis' eyes seemed to dull, lose focus, die. Sam let go of the man, and he fell into a unnatural heap on the floor. Sam turned his head, looking at Dean with their newborn son, then to his 25 year old son. "I'll go," he said quietly, looking away.

 

"Sam?" Dean said. "Would you like to hold your son?"

 

Sam only shook his head. "No, I don't want..." his voice seemed to break. 

 

"Sam, come over here," Dean asked him. "Please." Sam turned around and looked at his brother on the bed, his body still a mess from the birth, with a blood stained sheet covering his lower half. Sam walked to the bedside, and sat on the edge.

 

"I don't want to hurt him," Sam said.

 

"You delivered our son, and you didn't hurt him then, you won't hurt him now," Dean assured him, trying to hand him the baby.

 

"No Dean, I..." But Dean had lain the baby in his lap. Sam looked down at the small crying child.

 

"It's ok Sammy. You're allowed to love him. There's nothing wrong with that." Sam reached down and pulled the child into his arms. Looking down at him, he said, "Your Dad is safe now. I won't ever allow anyone to hurt him." Dean smiled, leaned forward and embraced his lover and son.

 

Trace looked at Xaden, "I think that you belong in that hug. Sam loves you, you need to let him feel that you love him too. Do you understand what I mean? I want you to use your powers on him. Try and pull Dean's feelings, too." Xaden looked at Trace for a moment as if he'd lost his mind. "Trust me Xay...just go do it."

 

Xaden approached them, kneeled at Sam's feet and wrapped an arm around him, the other hand was touching Dean's heart. Xaden laid his head in Sam's lap and he closed his eyes. Sam shuddered, as if a jolt of electricity was coursing through his veins. His eyes started to turn black, his body shaking. "Just hold on!!" Trace told them. "It's working, I wasn't sure if it would. Just...don't let go, keep feeling how much you love him."

 

Sam yelled out in pain as his body began to shake more violently. Dean let go of him and pulled their tiny child into his arms. Sam's body jerked backwards and fell to the ground out of Xaden's grip. He convulsed on the ground, his howls of pain filling the small bedroom almost to the point of pain for everyone in it. Xaden crawled on the floor to him as the shaking started to slow, he started to reach out and touch the dark liquid draining from his mouth, nose and eyes. Trace rushed forward and snatched his hand back. "Don't touch it."

 

"Why? What is it?" Xaden questioned.

 

"Pure evil. I heard rumors that something like this happened several years ago. That a kid was taken by evil, and his mother, father, and other family members with the help of a psychic helped drive the evil from his body simply with love. See, this was different from a demon, because that kid and Sam were - uh - infested with pure evil from Satan himself. So an excorsism wouldn't do anything to him. I...I just can't believe it worked." Trace and Xaden watched as the last bit of evil poured out of Sam's body and was absorbed into the floor. "Trace? Why didn't you tell me this before?"

 

"Honestly? I didn't remember it until I saw Sam and the way that he was looking at you," he said pointing at Dean, who was trying to get out of bed. Xaden walked over to him, "Don't get up, Dad. You just had a baby, you need to rest."

 

Sam gasped and sat up. All three men jumped at the sound. Sam looked around the room, his eyes falling on Dean. "It's gone!" he said, shocked. "It's really gone."

 

~X~X~

 

Three months later, Sam was sitting in a chair, rocking his son to sleep...and much to Dean's amusement, he was singing too. "Sammy?"

 

"Shut up, he likes it when I sing to him."

 

Dean laughed, "He's always asleep when you start singing. So how do you know he won't cry?"

 

Sam laughed and threw Xaden's empty bottle at him. "Shut up, not everybody sings as well as you!"

 

"Everything I do is good Sammy! I cook good, I look good, I fuck good, and look at the baby I made!"

 

"Uhhh, I think I have something to do with those last two there - thank you very much!"

 

"How do you figure you have anything to do with me fucking good?" he smirked.

 

"Because if you didn't have someone as hot as me to do it to, you wouldn't be as good at it as you are!!"

 

Dean stood and walked across the room, leaned down and kissed his son's forehead, then turned his head and kissed Sam deeply. "I love you."

 

Sam smiled, "I love you, too."

 

"I miss him," Dean said sadly.

 

"I do too, but look at what Xay got to go back to. A world that isn't dark, where both of his parents are alive and love him."

 

"I still can't believe that you knew how to open the portal. I mean, the things that you can do now."

 

"Does it scare you?" Sam asked, his brow wrinkled. "Because if you're afraid of me..."

 

Dean pressed his lips against his brother's once again. "Never Sammy, I'll never be afraid of you."

 

Sam looked down at their beautiful son, "Hey, he's alseep. Ya wanna fool around?" Sam asked as he stood walking toward their son's nursery.

 

Dean smirked as he followed him down the hall. "As long as you promise me one thing, Sammy. No more of that supernatural seed you had up inside you. I don't think I could take having another baby!"

 

Dean grinned as he heard laughter coming from Xaden's room. He walked into his and Sam's bedroom to wait on the love of his life, his soul mate, his everything, to come to him so he could show him just how much he meant to him.

 

~end


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